Lily's Psychaotic Pregnancy
by XxStephXx
Summary: this follows James and Lily through Lily's pregnancy. Shows how Lily drives James insane with her mood swings and cravings. humour and a lot of fluff
1. Chapter 1

**Lily and James have been married for 6 months **

**They are still best friends with Remus and Sirius, (not Peter)**

Lily and her best friend Kendra (who is also going out with Sirius) were in Lily and James' kitchen. Sirius and James were at a Quidditch match and were due back any minute.

"So are you definitely pregnant?" asked Kendra

"Well I did the test and it was positive," said Lily biting her bottom lip

"That's great news. Why aren't you happy"

"I am I'm ecstatic, I love that I'm having a baby"

"So what's the problem? It is James' isn't it?"

"Of course it is. What do you take me for?"

"So…"

"It wasn't planned, we'd decided to wait until after the war to have a family. What if he isn't happy? What if he thinks I did it on purpose?"

"Don't be stupid, James will be over the moon," said Kendra, then she saw Lily go unnaturally pale, "Lils what's wrong?"

"I'm gonna be sick" said Lily then she got up and ran from the room.

Kendra remained in the kitchen and she soon heard Lily vomit.

"Ewww I hope you made it to the toilet" she shouted through to her.

"I did…" started Lily then she threw up again.

Suddenly James and Sirius apparated into the kitchen, Sirius immediately kissed Kendra and sat down.

"Hey, how was the game?" asked Kendra

"Good, Ireland beat Wales 160-40, " said James, "Where's Lily?"

"In the bathroom"

All three of them then heard Lily throw up again.

"Aren't you going to make sure she's okay?" said Sirius to James

"Uh yeah in a minute" said James, "I uh really hate seeing people puke"

"You know" Lily shouted from the bathroom unaware that James was home, "I don't know why they call it morning sickness when it lasts all fucking day"

"M-morning…" stuttered James "You-you're pregnant"

"Shit" Lily whispered loudly and then James heard her going into their bedroom.

James immediately followed her and found her sitting on their bed with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Y-You're P-pregnant"

Lily nodded; James still couldn't tell how she was feeling.

'Oh my god, is he mad? I should tell him that I didn't do it on purpose. What if he leaves me, just the thought of that breaks my heart'

"Is it mine?" said James without thinking

"Oh for Christ sake James is that what you really think of me," said Lily angrily

"No, no sorry stupid question. It's just… How do you feel about it?"

"How do you feel?" asked Lily

"I asked first"

"Well I'm asking now and I'm not answering till you do"

"Really mature Lils," chuckled James

"James" she said seriously

"Honestly"

Lily nodded her head

"It's great news I'm gonna be a daddy, it's fantastic" said James his face breaking into a huge excited smile.

"Oh thank god" said Lily getting up, "I didn't know if you'd…"

"I'm the happiest guy in the world, we're having a baby"

"I know" squealed Lily jumping up and hugging James, "I know we didn't plan it, but I'm so happy"

"Sshhhh I don't care if it was planned or not" said James, he kissed Lily's forehead and then bent down and kissed her stomach, "hey little one I'm your daddy, hi" he said to her stomach then he kissed it again and stood up.

"I love you," said Lily

"I love you too so much, I can't believe it we're having a baby. There is a little person growing inside you, part you and part me. Our child."

"I know" beamed Lily, "I-I can't … it's wonderful having part of you inside me. Your baby"

"Well to celebrate I'm sure we can get another part of me in you" said James suggestively

"Mr Potter don't you think you've enough of that, to get me into this condition."

"But Mrs Potter…." Before James could finish Lily had cut him off with a passionate kiss.


	2. 6 Weeks

**6 weeks**

It had been 2 weeks since Lily told James she was pregnant, she was now 6 weeks pregnant.

It was 8:30 on a Friday morning, Sirius and Remus were in the kitchen with James. Lily came in dressed for work.

Lily worked for the Ministry, Sirius and James were Aurors, and Remus was a healer at St Mungos.

"Morning sweetheart," said James kissing his wife, "any morning sickness today?"

"No, none thank god" she replied, "morning, Sirius, Remus"

"Morning" said Sirius, "and may I say you look radiant today"

"Morning Lily" said Remus, "have you made your appointment yet?"

"Yes I'll see you 10am on Wednesday morning" said Lily putting on the kettle.

"Why do we have to go to the clinic again? We went a week ago" said James.

"6 weeks is important in a baby's growth, we have to monitor it very carefully" said Remus.

While Remus was explaining this to James, Lily tried to put coffee into her cup without anyone noticing.

"Oh no, you don't" said James taking the cup out of Lily's hand before she could even take a sip.

"Hey, give it back," protested Lily

"No way, you know you can't have caffeine," said James.

"Go on, please, just one little cup," pouted Lily.

"Oh, I …" started James, he could never say no to Lily.

"James" said Remus sternly

"No, sorry Lily. I'll make you some tea," said James

"I don't want tea," she grumbled

"Sweetheart, you know I can't let you have coffee" said James "Moony tell her"

"Sorry Lily" said Remus.

"Come on, one little cup won't hurt, will it?"

"No, but it won't do any good either, and one cup will lead to two, then three then…" said Remus.

"Okay, okay I get it" said Lily, then she muttered under her breath, "pregnancy sucks"

"Surely you can't mean the miracle of birth" said Sirius, "the most natural beautiful thing in the world"

"Yeah, to you people maybe, but you don't have to squeeze a person out of you" said Lily irritably

"Yeah, but you get to feel your baby growing inside of you that must be an amazing experience" said Remus.

"Oh yeah great. I can't have coffee or alcohol, I'm puking every morning and I can't even have a cigarette," ranted Lily

"You don't smoke," pointed out Sirius

"Well I'd like to have the option and I have to put up with everyone wrapping me up in cotton wool," ranted Lily.

"Feel better now," laughed James.

"Yeah a little"

"Good, now go and get you shoes on, or we'll be late for work" said James then Lily left the room.

"So when are you going to tell your parents?" Sirius asked James.

"Tonight, we're going over for a dinner party," replied James

"What about her parents? Are you going to tell them? I know they didn't come to the wedding, but their first grandchild," said Remus.

"I don't want to tell them," said Lily coming back into the room.

"Don't you think…" said Sirius

"No" interrupted Lily, "they would only try to make me go back to the muggle world, like my perfect sister"

"sweetheart it's their first gra…" said James.

"I said no," said Lily agitated.

"Okay, okay calm down, don't get worked up about it. Whatever you want is fine" said James.

"Good, now come on or we'll all be late for work"

* * *

PLZ PLZ REVIEW 


	3. Telling the Family

**TELLING THE FAMILY**

"Honey, are you ready yet? I said we'd be there at 7" James shouted to Lily.

"I'm just coming"

Lily came into the living room, wearing a little black evening dress, with a shawl over her shoulders, and her red curly hair down over her shoulders.

"wow, you look...amazing" he said when he saw her.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself. Clean shaven, your mother will be pleased" said Lily.

James went over and slipped his arm around his wife's waist and said softly into her ear,

"I love you" then he moved his hand so that it was over her stomach, "I can't wait til we have our baby and there's no'one else I could ever imagine being the mother of my children"

"Well I should hope not" said Lily leaning into James, "Are we apparating there yet?"

"It's up to you, we can either floo there or I can apparate you there with me"

"There isn't any medical proof that apparation affects a pregnancy"

"I'm not prepared to risk it, you and the baby are the most precious things in the world to me and I'm not about to let anything happen to either of you." said James before apparating to his parent's house with Lily in his arms.

* * *

When they arrived most of the other guest were already there.

"How are we going to tell them with everyone here?"Lily whispered to James.

"Don't worry we'll take them aside before dinner and tell them" James whispered back.

"James, Lily hi" said Mrs Potter spotting them.

"Hi Mum" said James hugging his mother and kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi Celia" said Lily, hugging Mrs Potter.

"Lily dear, you look as lovely as ever" said Mrs Potter.

"Thank you"

"And James you look very smart, I see Lily managed to get you to shave,"

James just smiled, he decided it would be better not to tell his mother that it was Lily that liked him to have some stubble.

"Ah James, Lily glad you could make it. James, come and see Hubert's mobile felytone" said James' father, coming over, "Lily lovely to see you, you look sensational"

"Thank you, it's lovely to see you both" said Lily

"How did Hubert get a felytone?" James asked his father.

"His nephew is a muggle and he got it for him. Are you coming to see it" said Mr Potter

James looked eagerly at Lily.

"Yes on you go, have fun" said Lily, "oh and it's a telephone"

"You're the best" said James then he kissed Lily on the cheek and followed his father.

* * *

A little while later, James went to find Lily. He found her in the drawing room talking to his mother and some other old women he was related to in some way. He couldn't help but smile when he saw her, but then he spotted what was in her hand. He went over to her.

"Hello, ladies do you mind if I borrow my wife for a few minutes" he asked flashing a smile at the old ladies.

Without waiting for an answer, James led Lily away by the arm. When they were out of earshot of everyone else, he snatched the glass out of Lily's hand.

"Lillian Rose Potter, you better have a damn good reason, for having a half empty glass of champagne in your hand" he said

"Well James Thomas Potter, I think if you take a sip of the substance in the glass you will see that I have done nothing wrong"

James glared at Lily then took a large swig out of the glass.

"Fizzy apple juice" he said

"Yes" smirked Lily, "did you really think I would drink while I'm pregnant?"

"Um, no but this morning you..." stuttered James, who was fully aware how easily Lily could lose her temper or get upset especially now that she was pregnant.

"Awwww you're adorable when you're nervous" said Lily then she kissed James, "I know I was annoyed this morning but I would never do anything to harm this baby, _our_ baby"

"I know, I'm sorry" said James pulling Lily into a hug.

"C'mon" said James pulling back, "lets go and tell my parents and then we can tell the world. That is, if you're sure you don't want to tell your family?"

"I'm sure" said Lily, "You're my family"

"And you're mine, just don't tell my mother, she still likes to think she's the only woman in my life"

"Come on" laughed Lily taking James' hand.

* * *

"Uh mum, dad can we talk to you for a moment" said James after he and Lily had finally tracked down his parents.

"Okay dear" said Mrs Potter.

"What's the matter? Divorce already?" said Mrs Henderson, one of Mr and Mrs Potter's friends, "because my daughter, Isabella, is available, I've always thought you two would make a lovely couple"

"No, no Mrs Henderson, we just want a word with my parents" said James, who could sense Lily's temper rising.

They weren't even out the door when Mrs Henderson said loudly,

"It's a pity, my Isabella's much prettier than that Lily girl. She and James would be much better suited, both from good pureblood families"

Lily spun round, but before she could say anything, James put his hand on her shoulder and spun her back round,

"Just let it go, she's not worth it" he said

"Excuse me Susan, but you appear to have forgotten your manners, when you are in my homeyou will treat my daughter in law with respect" said Mrs Potter icily, "and as for your Isabella, from what I hear she's not too picky about who she dates, well dates is probably not the right word, sleeps with is more accurate"

"Mum" said James shocked yet impressed.

"Come on, you said you want to talk to me and your father" said Mrs Potter, then she turned and left the room, motioning for James and Lily to follow.

* * *

The four of them went into the study, Mrs and Mr Potter sat down on the leather armchairs, James and Lily sat on the sofa opposite.

"Well, what did you want to tell us?" said Mr Potter.

"Are you sick?" asked Mrs Potter fearfully

"No, no we're both fine. It's good news" James assured his mother, "We're pregnant"

"Oh congradualations" said Mr Potter getting up and shaking his son's hand.

"I knew it. I was right" squealed Mrs Potter rushing over and pulling Lily into a hug.

"How did you know?" said Lily amused by Mrs Potter's excitement.

"I bet it was Sirius" said James.

"No I just knew. I knew as soon as I saw you both earlier, you were glowing and James you couldn't keep the smile off your face" babbled Mrs Potter then she grabbed James and hugged him as if he was a little boy, "I can't believe it my baby is going to be a daddy, I'm going to be a granny"

"Yeah and you'll be a great one" said James hugging his mother back.

"Oh I'm so excited a new baby, when is it due?"

* * *

"Phew, I'm exhausted" said James flopping down on the sofa. He had just apparated back home from his parents house with Lily.

"Mmmmm I know me too. I can't believe you left me with all thoses old women telling me about the miracle of birth" moaned Lily as she curled up on the sofa with James, "they were also telling me that I should do things the 'proper' way, when I'm giving birth, no pain killers and not letting you see me or the baby until we're cleaned up"

"What?" choked out James, "You're not going to do that, are you?"

"You wish, you got me into this condition you're damn well going to be there for the birth. As for painkillers, I'll be taking anything they've got, I've heard how painful labour is"

"I'm glad, I don't want to miss a minute of it"

"Well I wouldn't mind missing out the really painful parts" said Lily jokingly but James could hear the fear in her voice.

"You're not really that scared are you"

"terrified"

"awww sweetheart" said James pulling Lily in closer to him, "I wish there was something I could say or do... I won't let anything happen to you or the baby"

"I know you won't, I'm just being silly, women have babies all the time. It still scares me shitless though"

James didn't know what to say to her, he couldn't lie and tell her that it wouldn't hurt. All he could do was hold her and try to make her feel better about it"

"It'll be worth it though" said Lily then she looked up and put her hand on James' cheek and pulled him into a passionate kiss.


	4. Cravings

**Cravings**

Lily was now 3 months pregnant and it was starting to show.

It was 3am on a Tuesday morning and Lily couldn't sleep, she had been tossing and turning for the past half hour and had woken James up 5 minutes ago.

"What's the matter?" he asked

"I thought you were asleep"

"How could I be sleeping when you won't stay still for more than 5 seconds" he replied grumpily.

"Sorry I'll stop" said Lily

"No, just tell me what the matter is"

"It's nothing really"

"Lily, just tell me"

"It's just...I really want some pickles and cream cheese ooo and some garlic olives"

"Pregnancy cravings" James muttered.

"We don't have any in the fridge, I had the last of the cream cheese this morning. I'll go to the 24 hour store" said Lily sitting up.

"I don't think so, it's 3am, if you're really that desperate I'll go" James said.

"No, don't be silly"

"Lily I'm not letting you go out at 3am, it's not safe"

"Well it doesn't make sense, you going out at this time either, you have work in 5 hours"

"Either I go or no'one goes"

"Fine I'll wait then"

"Okay then" said James.

Lily lay back down and tried to got to sleep, but soon she was tossing and turning again.

"Okay, I'm going" said James, getting up and pulling on a pair of boxers.

"No, really I'll be fine"

"The only way either of us are going to get any sleep tonight, is if you get whatever the hell it is you're craving" snapped James.

"Don't feel you have to" Lily snapped back, "I mean I'm only carrying _your_ child, but don't worry about me, I'll sleep in the spare room"

Lily stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

James got up and went to the store, when he got back he found Lily sitting on the sofa watching some late night chat show.

"Hi, I got you the stuff you wanted" he said handing her the bag, feeling terrible.

"Thanks" she said coldly

"I'm sorry I snapped" he said, sitting down next to her.

"It's not like I can control it, my hormones are all over the place. Do you think I wanted to be awake all nightm craving pickles and cheese?"

"No, I know. I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" he said putting his arm around Lily, but she didn't relax and lean into him like she usually did.

"I'm really sorry love, please don't be mad at me. I was an idiot, I should be making sure you have everything you want." said James trying to pull Lily closer but she was still refusing to budge. "Come on, whats the matter? Please"

James looked over and was surprised to see a tear rolling down Lily's cheek.

"Lily, sweetie, come on what's the matter? Please, you're starting to scare me now"

"I'm sorry it's all my fault, I shouldn't have woken you up and now I'm such an emotional mess and I'll get worse" said Lily tears rolling down her cheeks, " and you won't want me anymore"

James couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous Lily was being.

"It's not funny. Why are you laughing, James?" sniffed Lily.

"I'm sorry" said James as he stopped laughing, "it's just you're being ridiculous"

"I'm not, it'll be worse and you won't love me anymore"

"Lily, sweetheart you're being completely absurd. I love you, I've loved you since I was 11 years old, thats 14 years, I'll always love you" said James kneeling down in front of Lily.

"...b-but I'll only g-gte more absurd"

"I don't care, you've always been absurd, actually I've always found it a turn on. You're feisty, beautiful, adorably strange and I love you insanity and all and I'm sorry I was grumpy"

"Really" said Lily quietly.

"Yes" said James wiping away her tears, then he kissed Lily passionately, "C'mon lets go back to bed" he murmered as they pulled apart.

"I'll be in, in a minute" said Lily as she eagerly opened the bag of food James had brought her.

"Woman's bloody insane" muttered James as he stood up

"What?"

"Nothing, sweetie, enjoy" he said, not wanting to set her off again. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and then went back to bed.


	5. New Underwear

**A/N** - I wasn't going to update this for a while but '**JamesPotterismine'** sent me a msg asking me to, so I thought I'd be a good author and write a quick chapter.

**New Underwear**

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" shouted Lily

James, who was sitting in the living room with Sirius and Kendra, groaned.

"What's up, Prongs?" asked Sirius

"You know what's up, she's insane, I swear she is carrying the devil child" said James

"That's a terrible thing to say" gasped Kendra

"I know, I don't mean it. She's just so hormonal all the time" said James

Then they heard sobs coming from Lily's room.

"I better go and see what's wrong" said James

He got up and went into their bedroom and say Lily crying on the bed, half naked

"Lily, sweetheart, what's the matter?" he asked

"My bra doesn't fit" she sobbed pathetically

"What? Then wear another one" he said

"I can't none of them fit"

"Well get dressed, and we'll go and get you some more"

"I can't go out with a bra, not now, look at them they're enourmous" said Lily sitting up

James took this as an invitation to openly stare at her chest

"JAMES, stop that right now" growled Lily

"Sorry" he said, "Stop being silly, and we'll go shopping"

Lily grudgingly agreed.

-----------------------

THAT EVENING

"There, you feel better?" asked James, he and Lily had just gone to dinner after shopping

"Yeah, thanks" said Lily curling up on the sofa with James,

"For what?"

"Making me feel better when I'm so insane"

"That's what I'm here for Love"

"You're not here to put up with my insanity and I know I've been insane and unbearable for the past few weeks"

"I am, you're having our baby, it's my job to make sure you're happy and have everything your heart desires. Cause you're my wife and I love you more than I could ever put into words"

Suddenly James heard a strange noise coming from Lily he looked down and saw her trying to muffle sobs.

"Why are you crying?"

"I don't know" she sobbed

"You don't know?"

"No, I'm just..."

"Come here" laughed James putting his arms around Lily and holding her close.


	6. Look who's sleeping on the couch

**Look who's sleeping on the couch**

"Ugh, what are you doing? That's what got me into this state in the first place," yelled Lily, she was just about to go to sleep, when James decided he wanted to have sex and she was REALLY not in the mood.

"What? I was only…" protested James

"Oh I know what you were only doing. Don't you think I have enough to deal with without you slobbering over me? Ugh that really is all you think about,"

"Sweetheart…"

"Don't you sweetheart me"

"It was only a suggestion…"

"Suggestion you were practically groping me, I don't believe you said a word"

"We haven't you know in…"

"What? 3 days, oh I'm so sorry how will you ever survive?"

"There is no need to be like that"

"There is every need. You're as bad as some hormonally driven teenager, and if you're going to act like that you can do what they have to do, go and jerk off in the bathroom and pray to god I don't catch you"

"You're being ridiculous"

"Maybe I am"

"You definitely are"

"You know what you definitely are?"

"No, why don't you enlighten me, dear?"

"You're definitely sleeping on the couch tonight"

"What? Why?"

"Because you're a pig and I don't want to share a bed with you"

"So, I'll sleep in the spare room"

"Oh no you won't"

"What? Why?"

"The spare room is too comfortable for you, you don't deserve it. You'll sleep on the couch"

"Lily will you please be reasonable?"

"I would say I'm being very rational"

"Well maybe I'll sleep in the spare room no matter what you say"

"I would love to see you try"

James spent a very uncomfortable night on the sofa, he really wasn't brave enough to defy his wife. And he spent most of the next day on his knees begging Lily for forgiveness, because he knew she would never make the first move and she could hold a grudge for months.

Let this be a lesson to all husbands, when your wife is pregnant NEVER make the first move when it comes to sex.


	7. Sorry about that

**Sorry about that**

"James," called Lily.

It was a Sunday morning, Lily was still in bed, and James was in the living room reading a Quidditch magazine.

"Uh huh, what is it?" he called back.

"I was just wondering where you were," said Lily as she almost waddled into the living room, she was 6 months pregnant now.

"I thought I'd let you sleep later, you were really tired last night,"

"I know I'm fine now though. At least I don't have to go to work," she said, her maternity leave was starting the next day. Lily sat down next to James and rested her head on his chest, snuggling into him.

"Sure, sweetie, rub it in. You know I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow," teased James.

"Shut up, I am carrying a enormous human being in my uterus, I deserve a few months off"

"A few. You're getting 9 months off"

"And I deserve it"

"I know you do. I know this hasn't been easy on you," said James throwing the magazine on the nearest coffee table and pulling Lily closer to him.

"It's not been easy on you either. I know that's been my fault."

"It's okay, as you said you're carrying an enormous human being in your uterus"

"Yeah, but I shouldn't take it all out on you. I know I haven't been fair on you and I am sorry"

"I told you it's okay"

"It's not. You know I don't mean the things I say when I lose my temper"

"I know"

"I didn't mean it when I said, I'd wished I had never agreed to go out with you at school,"

"I know"

"And I didn't mean it when I said you were a thoughtless useless lump that snored and kept me up all night"

"I know"

"And I didn't mean it when I said I couldn't bear to have you in the same room as me, well actually at the time your presence did annoy, but I know that was my fault"

"I know"

"I love you, you do know that, don't you"

"Yes I know that, and you know I love you"

"I know, you've never given me a reason to doubt that, I've given you plenty of reasons to doubt how much I love you"

"I know it's just that your hormones are all over the place"

"I don't understand why you're being so nice and understanding to me"

"Cause you're my wife, I love you and you're carrying our baby"

"Still I'm a bitch to you at times"

"True, but that doesn't make me love you any less. In fact as I have said before I find it quite a turn on when you lose your temper,"

Lily just giggled, "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you"


	8. A Birthing DVD

**A Birthing DVD**

CRACK

'_Oh boy, Lily's home'_ thought James and it wasn't that he wasn't happy to see her, it was just he couldn't seem to do anything right lately.

"Hi, honey" he shouted

"Hi, I'm just going to change," she shouted back then he heard her go into their bedroom.

A few minutes later Lily came into the living room, carrying a DVD case.

"What's that?" asked James

"Oh Myrtle gave me a recording of giving birth, I thought we could watch it to together"

"Why?" asked James, not keen on the idea at all, from what he had heard the miracle of birth was yucky.

"Well so we can be prepared,"

"But why would we want to see some stranger giving birth, it won't be pleasant"

"Well then I guess it won't be pleasant when I have to do it. You'll probably wait outside and I'll have to do all the work all by myself. I'll push the humungous head out and ruin my body forever while you sit and relax with a beer because it won't be pleasant," ranted Lily.

_'Here we go again'_

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean it like that and of course I'll be there for the birth of our baby. It'll be the happiest, most important moment of my life," said James rather proud of himself for thinking of the right thing to say.

"Happiest and most important?"

"Yup"

"Happier than our wedding more important than that. What about when you found out I was pregnant? Or when I agreed to go out with you in seventh year, though god knows what I was thinking? Or when I said I'd marry you or…"

"Lily," groaned James

"What?"

"Why can't I do anything right?"

"Because you say stupid things"

"Well I'm trying to do things right but I have no idea what you're thinking. All we seem to do right now is yell, everything I do seems to upset you and make you mad," said James then he stormed out of the room.

Lily followed him a few minutes later.

"James," she said quietly.

"Hmmm?"

"Will you please watch the DVD with me? I don't want to watch it myself, it might be yucky"

"Course I will," sighed James

"Thanks and sorry I was being a bitch"

"Don't mention it. Come on I'll get popcorn"

5 MINUTES LATER

"No, No turn it off. TURN IT OFF NOW," shouted Lily covering her eyes.

James turned off the TV.

"I am not doing that," insisted Lily.


	9. The End

Chapter 9 

"James, James," said Lily urgently shaking her husband as he lay sleeping beside her, he wasn't responding, "James, JAMES JAMES JAMES" she screamed

"What?" said James jumping awake in fright.

"My water broke, I just had a contraction," said Lily now surprisingly calm.

"WHAT?" James shouted scrambling to his feet.

"I'm in Lab… OWWW OH FUCK OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," Lily screamed.

"Wh… you can't be…"

"Why the hell not? You knocked me up 9 months ago I would say it was possible for me to be in labour"

"But now?"

"Yes, OWWWWWWWWWWW SHIT THIS HURTS," Lily screamed again, "and we don't have much time until baby Potter makes an appearance, so are you going to take me to the hospital or do I have to go alone"

"Wh… of course, I'll get the bag," said James falling over himself to get to the door, then he suddenly stopped.

"In the living room, under the coffee table," said Lily getting out of bed

------------------------------------------------

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww You bastard this is all your fault, you ought to be castrated," Lily was screaming half an hour later in the delivery room.

"Honey, could you watch your language the healers are staring at me," said James and then he promptly got a bedpan hit off his head and more abuse from his wife.

That was until Harry James Potter came into the world and Lily's Psychotic pregnancy and James' nightmare was over.


End file.
